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Shots for Tots

Posted June 25, 2011 @ 2:05pm | by Anne

Our bartender, Ellen, loves babies. That should be with a capital 'L', actually. You know how people get all goo goo gaa gaa over little soft fluffy things like kittens and puppies and Justin Bieber? That's Ellen with babies.

She could take them or leave them by the time they get old enough to talk back, or trample the flowers out front, or possibly run away from the little, crazy Italian woman trying to pick them up, but yeah, babies; that's Ellen's thing.

I'm pretty sure, that if you yourself are an infant, your first memories of the Hot Tomato look something like this:

Not the pizza crust that you're gumming, or the pretty colors on the walls. No, but a woman rushing over to pry you out of your comfort zone of 'Mom' and carry you around.

She's not the only 'Baby Picker-upper' though, several of our other front of the house staff members will rush to hold little ones when they come in. If you are a regular, and you are used to this kind of thing; everyone in the Hot Tomato doing things like pouring your beer or ringing up your sale with a baby attached to their hip, then it's probably not too weird. But for non-regulars, I sometimes wonder what they think.

This is what the Hot Tomato often looks like for a non-regular.

The regularity of this phenomenon has gotten to the point that we back-of-the-house people have come to rely on it's occurrence, saying things like "Okay. Baby. Front door. How long?" Then we all choose times, usually in the 30 second to 1 minute range. This of course means, "How long until Ellen picks up the baby." Whoever is closest doesn't actually win anything, but it's worth a good laugh.

Lately though, we've come up with the frame work for a much better game.

We call it 'Shots for Tots'.

The premise is this; Every time Ellen picks up a baby, we all get to drink a shot of some adult beverage.

If you're doubting the difficulty of this game, let me remind you that Ellen picks up babies with a frequency seemingly unmatchable by anyone who is also trying to take orders, pour beers, clear tables, cash people out, etc etc. In the midst of this chaos, picking up a baby is an equally important task, to be accomplished in the same successful manner in which she takes care of everything else.

So the game goes like this;


And so it goes.

The other day though, something Really special happened, we all looked up and Ellen was Double Fisting Babies!!!!!! Seriously.

Two unwitting youngsters were in her clutch. She was like Saint Ellen of the Order of Infanthood; trumpets were blowing, angels were singing, etc etc.

This would totally be worth two shots.

There's one final component of the game though; it was decided amongst us that the Be All End All would be this; Ellen, double fisting babies, riding a miniature pony. (Why a miniature one? because they're magical)

After that, the rapture would happen and we would all ascend up to magical, miniature pony, baby holding nirvana. 

And that's how the game ends.

So, if you come in to the Hot Tomato, and you find either the entire staff passed out drunk, or ascended to baby holding nirvana with nothing left but some bewildered parents wandering around looking for their children; don't worry, Ellen's just been holding babies again.

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